On letting go and letting in...

Hey friends, its been awhile, not too long though. You forgive me, right?

As promised, this will be somewhat deep. Have you ever done something or agreed to something that you weren't sure about? Today is valentines day. I had a valentine...that I decided to make her a girlfriend. Maybe its the love bug, but as excited as I am, I am terrified. I haven't been serious with anyone since I practically had a promise ring in hand over a year ago with a girl named Emily. I was so sure about her. She was amazing. Flawless. Then she went to Maryland for Pharmacy school and I hate myself everyday for not going with her.

Anyways! Everything has happened so fast. Without too many harsh details...really fast (you know...). And here I am, now official with someone who knows one of my ex's very well and who I barely know. She seems great though. Shes attractive. Very nice and thoughtful. Seems sweet.

Why am I so terrified?

I tried writing songs tonight after the Wisconsin game and after my friends left, and everything I write down is the same. This overwhelming feeling.

By the way, a couple people came over briefly and I played 3 songs on my acoustic guitar that I've been sporting lately. Thank you for listening. You've avenged me. My projected is called The Avenging Plan, a little cheesy, I know...

Is it too soon? Am I still holding on to the one that got away? Maybe I am not ready...

I wish I knew.

Moreover, I feel like I have let the wrong friends in and the good ones out. Are we always questioning who are good influences and are really there for us and not just waiting with knives when we turn our backs? Something I have been pondering a while...


I know this is rant, advice is welcomed, thank you for reading at least.